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For The Love of Sport
For The Love of Sport is an episode from the show. Synopsis (Any ideas) Sport was in love with (?) Plot (Any ideas) Characters * Scout * Miss Kittey * Sport * Darcy * Gilroy * Hollister * Sheriff * Patterson * Jerold * Mexican Dogs * Locations * Miss Kitty's Salon * Sport's House * Jailhouse * Church * Hollister's General Store and Telegraph * Library * Song * Love Is Trivia (Any ideas) Transcript (?) Narrator: In first Corinthians 13, the Bible tells us that love is never selfish, and always seek the best for others. (?) Sport: Thank, Miss Kittey. I love these. Narrator: And that was a lesson Sport learned on the day of our story. Miss Kittey: Now, Sport. Sport: I know. I know. One to a customer. A guy can dream, can't he? Miss Kittey: Well, I guess you can gave two. Sport: Yes! Miss Kittey: I mean, you are my favorite. Sport: Really? Miss Kittey: Why, sure, sugar. Didn't you know that? (Miss Kittey kissed Sport's head and Sport (?)) Miss Kittey: Bye, now! Sport: Wow! (?) Sport: I'm her favorite! (?) Ouch. (In Sport's home, he tried to write it down, but he refused and try again) Sport: Nah. "Dear Miss Kittey. I have admired you from afar for so long." Ooh, this could be good. "And you smell really nice, too." Nah. (Throw the paper away and write new one) "Dear Miss Kittey..." Nah. (Throws it again and write again) " Dear Miss..." Nah. (Throw and write again) "D--" Nah. (But he had an idea) "To the most beautiful girl in the whole world..." Now we're on a roll. Oops. (He realizes something, blows out the dust, and spelled the letter) G-I-R-L. E. (?) Miss Kittey: A secret admirer. I wonder who it is. Mmm, it smells fruity. Like candy. I do love a good mystery! And a mystery involving candy is the best of all. (?) Gilroy: Hi, Sport. (?) Sport: Aaah! (?) Gilroy: Taking a bath? It's not even Saturday. What's up with that? Sport: No, Mr. Gilroy. I was watching somebody and you scared me. (?) Gilroy: Oh. Who were you watching? Sport: I can't tell you. Gilroy: Okay. Sport: Really. I should just keep my mouth shut. Gilroy: Fine by me. See you around, sport. Sport: I don't think you understand. This is a very sensitive -- Gilroy: Sport, Is there something you'd like to tell me? Sport: Okay, fine. But only because you refuse to leave me alone about it! Gilroy: Oh. I'm sorry, Sport. You know how I get. I gotta know. Go ahead. Sport: Can you keep a secret? (Flashback start) (?) Gilroy: Ever hear about the time Hollister almost burned down his own store? Sport: He did? (?) Gilroy: How about the time Patterson dreamt he was taking a bath and woke up in the water tower? Sport: Really? (?) Gilroy: What about when the Sheriff accidentally locked himself in jail for three days before he remembered he had the keys in his pocket? Sport: Wow! Gilroy: That's what I said. Sport: I never heard any of those things. Gilroy: Hmm-mmm. Sport: You really can keep a secret. Gilroy: My record speaks for itself, thank you. Sport: Okay, well, the thing is... Gilroy: Yeah? Sport: I might maybe like someone. Gilroy: Whoa. Sport: Possibly. Gilroy: That's a big one. I don't know, I may be good at keeping a secret, but I'm not a miracle worker. Come on! Sport: Oh, please, you can't tell anyone. Gilroy: Oh, all right. (Started out loud) Sport has a girlfriend! Oh, that's my fault. (Loud again) Sport has a girlfriend! Sport: Stop, please. Gilroy: I'm sorry. I'm trying to hold it in, but I can't help it. Sport has a girlfriend! Did I say that one out loud? Sport: Stop! Gilroy: Oh! Sport: She might hear you! Gilroy: What do you mean? Surely you've told her, whoever she is. Sport: If she doesn't know at this point, she's probably the only one in town. Gilroy: Well, you've got to tell her before it's too late. Don't make the same mistake I did with Millie. Sport: You mean there was a time in your life when you did keep a secret? Gilroy: It was the biggest mistake I ever made. (Out loud) Sport has a girlfriend! You'll thank me one day. Sport: It won't be today. Gilroy: You will tell her, won't you, Sport? Sport: Okay, sure. Gilroy: Good. Sport: I'll go do it right now. Gilroy: Wait! Are you out of your mind? Sport: What? Gilroy: You need to tell her in some special way. You can't just blurt these things out. (Out loud) Sport has a girlfriend! Sport: Like that? Gilroy: All right, I guess you can. But it's not ideal. You really should tell her with a gift or something. (Out loud) Sport has a girlfriend! Okay, we've gotta do something about me. Sport: A gift. That's not a bad idea. Gilroy: Sport has a girlfriend. Sport: Mr. Gilroy! Gilroy: Sorry! (Miss Kittey saw the letter and (?)) Miss Kittey: "My dearest darling, a person as special as you deserves the most special gift in the world. I'm searching every inch of the Earth to find that perfect gift to tell you just how much you mean to me. Your secret admirer." (?) Playing a new game, Sport? (?) Sport: It's not Sport. It's a tumbleweed. Miss Kittey: Oh. Hello, Mr. Tumbleweed. You sure sound like Sport. Sport: Um, I get that a lot. Miss Kittey: Well, if you see my good buddy Sport, Mr. Tumbleweed, You be sure and say hi. After all, he is my favorite. Sport: Thank you. I mean, I'll tell him. You know, if - if -- I see him. Probably won't but you never know. Well, I'd better be tumbling along now. (?) I'm here favorite! (?) Ouch. Miss Kittey: I wonder who's sending me these notes? Gilroy: A little higher on the left, Jerold. (?) Gilroy: Right there, good. Now remember, Mum's the word. (?) Sport: Hi, Mr. Hollister. Hollister: Hi, Sport. How's the girlfriend? Sport: How'd you know about that? Hollister: Oh, I can read the signs. Sport: It's written all over my face, huh? Hollister: Uh, no. I can read the signs. (?) Sport: That's the last time I tell Mr. Gilroy anything. Hollister: Believe me, kid, it's a lesson we all learn the hard way. What can I do for you? Sport: Ah, say, you wouldn't happen to need a guy to help sweep up around here, would you? Hollister: Sure, I'd love to find somebody. My needs are pretty specific, though. Someone about this high. Comes around every day after school. Promises not to eat me out of fruity chewy-chews. Sport: But he can have some fruity chewy-chews. Hollister: He can have... One fruity chewy-chews. Sport: He could maybe have... Four fruity chewy-chews. Hollister: Two. Sport: Three. Hollister: Done. You drive a hard bargain, kid. There's the broom. Start on the porch. Sport: The back. Hollister: Front. Sport: Side. Hollister: Done. So, what does the young'un like you need a job for? Sport: Let's just say I need the money to buy a special gift. But it might be a really expensive gift. Hollister: Oh, you were thinking this job paid a wage, huh? Sport: Yes, sir. A generous wage. Hollister: A slave wage. Sport: A fair wage. Hollister: Done. Boy, you sure saw me seeing you coming. Sport: Yes, sir. Hollister: Although with the definition of "fair," you'll probably need a couple of jobs. I may know some people you can talk to. For the right price. Sport: Thanks, Mr. Hollister. Say, what are you working on? Hollister: Oh, just carving another sign. There's been quite a demand for these lately. (?) You're standing? That broom won't push itself. Snap to it. It's not like I'm not paying you a slave wage here. Sport: Fair wage! Hollister: Fair, fair. Nothing gets past you. (?) Patterson: Ooh, I've been looking all over for one of these! Hey, Hollister, put it on my tab, would you? Hollister: (?) Yeah, I wish today may be different. Patterson: Thanks. (?) Sport: Hi, Mr. Hollister. Hollister: Hi, Sport. Sport: I think I've finally got enough for a gift! (?) Hollister: Great! And just for you -- Sport: Wait. (?) Hollister: Even better. And now -- Sport: Hold on. (?) Hollister: Fantastic! That's -- Sport: I've been working really hard. (?) Hollister: I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but stop putting money on my counter! Whoa. Where'd that come from? I must be coming down with something. Sport: Sorry, Mr. Hollister. Hollister: What are you doing?! Don't touch that money! It's fine right where it is! Okay, I'm back. Sport: Hey, you think this is enough for a good gift? Hollister: Oh, I think we can work something out. Tell you what, for you, kid, anything in the store, up to one percent off. And I'm not just saying that like the last time. Sport: Really? Hollister: No. You know, I don't give discounts. (?) That joke just never gets old. Sport: So you've said, sir. Hollister: You know, you're like a son to me. Don't touch anything. You break it, you bought it. Sport: Yes, sir. Hollister: Although, it's not like you can't afford it. Go ahead! Touch away! Welcome to Hollister's Tactile Emporium. (?) (?) Miss Kittey: Hollister, I finally found out who my secret admirer is! Hollister: Great! For you, anything in the store, up to one percent off. Miss Kittey: Really? Hollister: Ah, got ya! Heh heh heh heh! I slay me! Miss Kittey: Oh, Hollister. Hollister: So who is this secret admirer? Miss Kittey: Well, as it turns out, I've been attracted to him for quite some time. Hollister: Ooh! Miss Kittey: His name is... Tom. Hollister: Tom. (?) Sport: Tom? Tom? (?) Hollister: Sport? Sport? MIss Kittey: You okay, honey? Sport: Tom? The guy you like is Tom? Miss Kittey: Why, yes. He's the one who sent me all the notes. (Faint again) Miss Kittey: I thought he never even noticed me in high school, but I guess he's been thinking about me all these years. (?) Miss Kittey: Are you sure your'e all right? Sport: But why do you think he's your secret admirer? Miss Kittey: He just sent me this telegram. Sport: He just -- Oooh. (?) Hollsiter: "In Prairieopolis on business. Stop. If you can get away, would love to see you. Stop. Have something important to discuss. Stop." Sounds serious to me! Miss Kittey: Oh, stop. Sport: But what makes you think the notes came from him? Miss Kittey: Well, here he says that he has something important to discuss. And in this wonderfully scented note, he says he's looking for a special gift for me. Hollister: If that's not proof, I don't know what is. Sport: Oooh. (?) Hollister: Come on, let's go send your reply. That boy needs some iron. Miss Kittey: I think you're right. (?) Choir Dogs: There's a secret going 'round Sport has a girlfriend. A secret known by the whole town Sport has a girlfriend. We all wonder who it is Sport's little girlfriend. Can he make her truly his? Sport has a girlfriend. Sport: Not anymore, he doesn't. Choir Dogs: It's his own fault. Sport: I heard that! Choir Dogs: Who left the door open? (?) Choir Dogs: There's a secret going 'round Sport has a girlfriend... Gilroy: Hey, buddy. How's that little secret of ours? Mum's the word. Sport: It doesn't matter anymore. Gilroy: So it's all right if I tell people? 'Cause I might as well let you know, between you and me, I've had a little trouble keeping that one quiet. Heh heh. (?) Sport: Yeah, well, it's all over. Gilroy: What?! What happened? You didn't tell her how you felt about her, did you? (?) Sport: Not personally. Gilroy: Oh, Sport, don't let history repeat itself. Remember Millie. Sport: Who? Gilroy: Millie Silpicklewitz. I loved her from the moment I first saw her. (?) Gilroy: But I was always afraid to say anything. (?) Gilroy: And then, off to the big city, I went to work for my uncle -- and learn about the toy business, see. (?) Gilroy: One thing led to another and I started to make something of myself. And after a couple of years my confidence crew. Grew enough to finally tell Millie I loved her. (?) Gilroy: But when I got back to Prairie Town, I learned my lovely Millie Silpicklewitz had become someone else's lovely Millie Smith. Easier to say, but a disappointment nonetheless. (?) Gilroy: It was the happiest day of her life. And the saddest of mine. Choir Dogs: Gilroy has a girlfriend. Gilroy: Not anymore, he doesn't. (?) Gilroy: Hmm. I never found anyone else like Millie. Sport: Why didn't you tell her how you felt? Gilroy: Well, she was married. It was too late. Telling her would have been selfish. And love is never selfish. It always wants the best for others. Still missed her, though. She passed on a few years ago. Sport: Wow. Gilroy: That's why you have to tell your little friend how you fell, Sport. Before it's too late. Don't make the same mistake I did. (?) Miss Kittey: Hi, Sport. Sport: Oh, hi, Miss Kittey. Miss Kittey: I thought I saw you out here. Sport: Yeah. You all packed for your trip? Miss Kittey: Well, no. Sport: You haven't changed your mind about going, have you? Miss Kittey: Actually, nothing would make me happier than to see Tom. The problem is, I can't afford the train ticket. Excuse me. (?) Sport (?): She can't get the tic-ket! She hasn't got the mon-ey! She's not going to see Tom! (?) I am still her fav -- riiiiiiite! (?) Ouch. (?) Gilroy: So you still have a shot! Great! Sport: But I have to find the right way to tell her. I need the perfect, perfect gift. Gilroy: Well, leave it to me, kid. I've always had a knack for picking gifts. Of course, in a situation like this, you really have only one choice. (?) Sport: A yo-yo? Gilroy: Absolutely! She's bound to love it, and if she doesn't, you've got yourself a yo-yo. It's a win-win situation all around! It's beautiful. Sport: Well, I do like the idea of getting a yo-yo. Gilroy: Of course! Sport: I'll have to think about it, Mr. Gilroy. Gilroy: What's to think about? This moment has yo-yo written all over it. Hello? Yo-yo. It's screaming at me. (?) Sport (?): The perfect, perfect gift. Gilroy (?): Don't make the same mistake I did. Miss Kittey (?): Nothing would make me happier than to see Tom. Gilroy (?): This moment has yo-yo written all over it. Sport (?): The perfect, perfect gift. Gilroy (?): Hello? Yo-yo. It's screaming at me. Sport (?): I'm her favorite! Ouch. Gilroy (?): Love is never selfish... Never selfish... Sport (?): A yo-yo? (?) Sport: That's it. (?) Miss Kittey: A train ticket? Oh, Tom! You think of everything! (?) Miss Kittey: Thanks for your help, Gilroy. You're the best. Gilroy: Oh, no problem. By the way, your secret is safe with me. (?) Miss Kittey has a boyfriend! Miss Kittey: Gilroy, please. Gilroy: Oh, boy. I'm sorry. Mum's the word. That's it, from now on. Miss Kittey: I'd better go or I'll missed the train. Gilroy: Bye now! Boy, that Tom is one lucky fella. Meow. Sport: Yeah. Meow. Gilroy: And how. Sport: And how. (?) Miss Kittey: Sport? Sport: (?) Whoa! (?) Miss Kittey: Oh, sugar, are you okay? What are you doing? Sport: Oh, uh, I kind of have a job here. How come you're back so soon? Miss Kittey: There wasn't much reason for me to stay. Turns out Tom just wanted to sell me some steak knives. Sport: Great! I mean... Great. Steak knives. Probably no forks or spoons even. Not even a soup ladle or a melon baller. Miss Kittey: You know, Sport, you're lucky you've never been in love with someone who had no idea how you felt about them. Sport: Here, Miss Kittey, fruity chewy chews always make me happy when I'm down. Miss Kittey: Thanks. You know what doesn't make sense? Sport: What? Miss Kittey: When I asked him about the notes, he said he only sent the one telegram. And he didn't send the train ticket either. (?) Sport: Uh, Miss Kittey, there's something I need to say. Miss Kittey: You. You wrote all these notes. And you bought the train ticket, too? Why? Sport: I wanted you to be happy. Miss Kittey: Oh, Sport, that's the sweetest, kindest, most generous thing anyone has ever done for me. Sport: Well, if you like that, then you'll love this. (?) Miss Kittey, will you marry me? Miss Kittey: What? Sport: I promise I'll always really, really like you a whole lot. And I'll try not to stay out too late playing with the other dogs. Except maybe on weekends. Miss Kittey: Oh, honey. I would be honored to be your wife. Sport: Yes! (?) Miss Kittey: Wait, wait, wait! I meant if you were closer to my age. Sport: Oh, I've got that all figured out! See, one day, I will be your age. (?) Miss Kittey: Wait. I'm afraid that doesn't quite work that way. Sport: I had a feeling you were gonna say that. That's why I've got a backup plan. My deal clincher. I'm what Mr. Hollister calls a closer. If you marry me, Miss Kittey, you will never lack for fruity chewy chews for the rest of your life. (?) Miss Kittey: Sport, no. That's very sweet. And I do love the fruity chewy chews. But the best I can offer is to be your friend. Sport: Oh. I gotta admit, that's kind of a letdown. Wow. Love hurts. I mean it really, really hurts. Miss Kittey: I'm sorry. Sport: I got plenty of friends. I need friends like I need a hole in the head. Miss Kittey: Sport. Sport: I'm looking for a wife here. I want to settle down. I'm not as young as I look, you know. Next year, I turn five. Uh, are you sure we can't get married? Miss Kittey: Mm-hmm. Sport: Okay. Can a friend walk a friend home? Miss Kittey: I think a friend would like that very much. (?) Wait. I had a gift I wanted to give to the man who wrote me those beautiful notes. And strangely enough, I guess I still can. (?) Sport: A yo-yo? I got you one, too. Welcome home, Miss Kittey. Miss Kittey: (Chuckles) Oh, someday, some young lady is going to be very lucky to have you for a boyfriend. Sport: Maybe. But she won't be you. (?) Sport: Can you do 'Around the World?' Miss Kittey: Um, no. Sport: How about 'Loop-the-Loop?' Miss Kittey: Afraid not. Sport: To think I came this close to marrying you. How embarrassing. Nothing personnel, Miss Kittey. Miss Kittey: That's okay, Sport. (?) Gilroy: Always loved you, Millie. Always will. (?) Gallery Category:Episodes